BOYCOTT!

I hate the United States Postal Service. Yes, I know that "hate" is a strong word to use and that is precisely why I chose it. Way before I ever decided to make my wedding invitations, back when I was just exploring the option, we made one up and I took it to the post office and asked them if we would be able to mail it regularly through the machine. Well, one guy checked it and said it would be just fine, and even gave it to another coworker who also o.k.'d it. I thought, "great! This will turn out so well!" HA! Never turn your back on those men in their little blue shorts and white trucks with the wheel on the other side. They will get you every time. Today my mom and I go to mail the majority of the invitations at which point we are informed that they will NOT fit through the machine and will cost another 17 cents each. Totally frustrating, right? These invites are starting to cost way more than we planned on (every one of you better scrapbook them or something!). Just kidding. Anyway, so we buy the extra stamps and what do we see??

A BIGHORN SHEEP!! Who is in charge of inventing these stamps?!?! Not only would I not want to put a bighorn sheep on anything, ever-- but I definitely do not want it on my wedding invitation! If I ever find the guy who invented this, I am definitely giving him a piece of my mind! Just stick with the flag, okay?

So my mom and I are sitting in the post office, taking out each invitation and applying a hideous sheep to each one, when another postal worker comes out and informs us that each envelope actually costs an additional 20 cents, not the 17 cents that we already paid because stamp prices just went up on Monday. Got that? Monday. As in two days ago. But don't worry, they assure us, the envelopes will look better because this stamp is a star. Oh, well then! If you just would have mentioned THAT in the first place, then I would be feeling a lot better about all of this. So not only will each of you receive an invitation that should have been mailed with one simple "forever" stamp, you will also receive one bighorn sheep, and one star. Where am I sending these from? Australia?? 3 stamps?

As we then removed each invitation for the third time and affixed the oh so beautiful star stamp to each one, I started thinking about other "done-me-wrong" events in my life. Like the time Target charged me over $20 when I only wanted 8 wallet pictures because they neglected to mention that you have to get like, a thousand wallets of each picture in order to get just 1 of the one you wanted in the first place. Or the time Papa John's forgot my roma tomatoes on my pizza last week. All I can say, these places are on my list for this week. I have had enough! I will be that "lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce." Quel nightmare!